Things to consider before choosing a place
When making the move to a new home, not many people think about the end game. What's the plan six months or five years from now when death is near? Think about the situation through the eyes of the resident. As they gradually (or suddenly) spend more and more time in bed: What are they thinking? What are they seeing? What are they hearing? Are they prepared to pass away in this environment? What provisions will the facility provide as death nears? Are vigils an option? What are the visitation policies? Can you sit bedside with your loved one and hold their hand as they pass away, or are visiting hours strictly enforced? Do you even know what your loved ones' wishes are? It is not unusual to experience a decline after moving to a new home, it's called transfer tauma, and it can lead to death. We want to reduce the risk of transfer trauma but be plan for the potential consequences of the move. Be prepared for a sudden decline in condition and know what actions need to be taken. Death can happen quickly. Know what your loved ones' wants. It's a difficult but very important discussion to have, and clarity is critical. If you're uncomfortable with this subject of conversation, and most of us are, there are Chaplains, Death Doulas, and other people who can help.
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